Wednesday, December 10, 2014


I woke up in the noise of high school kiddos who were excited with their study tour. Reminds me of how noisy I was in the past. Nice thing for sure to live in a hotel, I have got the chance to meet many people in daily dose.

Do you know what best to be grateful for? When you love yourself much and respect yourself very well, you will finally realized how much you are loved by others.

The best thing I always feel lucky for is that I can send all my gratitude to the Lord for my life. Never been better. To acknowledge that I have more than much to cherish and so lucky my life is.

I tend to eliminate people who are toxic for me from my amazing life. Sometime they appear to give me a lesson, that in life, you have to be brave to choose what is good and right for you. Even the hardest thing about it is hurting people.

I mean, dont you feel hurt by your ego when someone refuse to have you in their life even just as a friend? Well been there done that. I might hurt many people already, but everything happens for a reason. What would I keep them in my life when they give me none but heartache and troubles.

I often got text from unknown people or people who mistaken my friendliness to something else. Made theirselves pushy and fussy towards me. I find that annoying and even motivate me more to keep them away. Then they call me arrogant. Who cares? I dont. All I care is my self. Selfish as it sounds, but somehow it's right. You cant please everybody.

Life is a bitch, but it keeps me wonder about what I can experience more and what I can be thankful for at the end of the day.

Love yourself and the love you seek will come to you. Yippy!!!

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Bali, my new home

Yes everybody, finally the will that had been grew since early of this year is happening. I moved to Bali. Exactly last week, i left my job and hopped on a plane then here I am. Nothing much going on yet here.

I still trying to adapting with the people, environment and the culture. As we know, the holy island has been the destination for tourism since long ago. So many things have changed. Not entirely make me happy though.

Cool thing, Bali has a high way above the sea water next to the airport. So when you crossing the highway you may enjoy the view landing airplanes.

Many good food and nice cafes. One thing I hate is the awful drivers here. Well, I don't say it's worse than Jakartans. However, they actually have to learn again the ethics in driving. Especially the tourists that bravely drive the motorbike. I mean just because it's so easy, doesn't me you can drive as you like. Hello, there are rules to be obey, kiddos!

I kinda miss the old Bali I used to love deeply. Not too much hotels, not so busy, free from traffic.

Change the topic, anyways, finally after a year, I started doing yoga again!! Felt so damn great! I came all the way by myself. Awkward. Though at the end it was very nice. And I'm doing it again tomorrow for sure.

Moving here change my way of thinking somehow. I'm finding the best lifestyle to fit the goals I have and enjoying the days I have been offered to.

I miss Jakarta, I miss all my friends. But it has to be done. What if I'm getting married in the near future? Lol.

One thing for sure, I gotta be the boat for my own self from now on. Forget about working as an employee. I lobe doing what my project is on my hand now. Will blast is in a short time. Gather the materials now. Oh I love all my extreme decision. 😘😘😘

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Today's gratitude

Oh darling, afraid none to what might go and come. Be grateful that bad things have gone and now the right things start to filling. :)

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Leaving something that I wanted and chase what I deserve

Something that feels good temporarily or toxicating at deep has no bad appearance at first. Then when you go through you feel the uncomfortable tingling that lingers stronger by the time. Let it flows and live with it, however, that would be not right. We could not just go with it but fight it and change it. Now, today I'm sure a massive change is necessary. I would twist my journey. I may not in great situation over all, though I can find a little lit of my peace. The peace within my soul which has been hidden for long.

I do hurt somebody. Or even more than a person.I wont run and bail, although, I couldnt be blamed. Do you know that sometimes we can't force the thing that has been born that way? I feel the guilt of hurting even as mean as i am, I don't really bothered. You know I've been hurt and I defeated it. No matter how hard, the best revenge is being a better one.

I am a super spoiled lady that likes to messing around. Isn't it clear that no one has to rely on me personally? I don't like to be pilot, I like to be the planner and navigator. Ah, do I chose the right analogy? I am sorry, I really am. But would you consider the reason why? I don't deserve to be harassed in the way that you saw. I don't deserve to go thousand miles that only leads me to a misery. I born from a mother that could shine so damn bright even covered in the dust. I don't need it, to be wasted in euphoria that dragged me down.

I've got to go. I've got to live my own life with no shame. Yes, i have to admit, again, I secretly ashamed with what happened between us. I deserve better. As bitch as I am, you can't mess it up, no more.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Life is a bitch!

Live the life as we want to...

Came the point where I urged myself not to stay how I was. That was my birthday. The turning point where I decided that I have to concern more seriously to my life. I was too playful, defensive, and idealist. I want people to accept me as I am nonetheless. However in real fucking life, I've got to learn, whatever that sounds so good entails a massive sacrifices.

Here I am now. Deadly trying to be someone my people want me to be. Cut off a lots of hang outs, avoiding drinking often, working seriously and continuoing my study. I directly said yes. It sounds terribly awesome. Not in practical experience though.

I dont want to go back to my old self, but I need to hold myself not to be driven by what people want from me. I may not as good as I seem to at first, but then I might think I am not so good myself. Today, I dont want to blame anyone or anything.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Oktoberfest at Paulaner Braühaus, Jakarta.

Germany has a special festival for all beer lovers in October, it's called Oktoberfest, where all the people drinking beer like no tomorrow. Unlike years ago, i usually celebrate it in different bars. Jakarta will never miss this kind of event. Many places have various kind of promo.

This year, Oktoberfest started early. I joined the celebration at Paulaner Braühaus, Grand Indonesia-Kempinski, Jakarta. They held the week full of craziness. As the opening date on Wednesday 24th September, my friends and I got the invitations. The crowd was incredible! 

We got the table straight in front the stage.
The beer was teriffic! I am a fan of Paulaner, the beer was always great, and this one was much more awesome. Besides this special free flow beer, the food was super! You know how amazing the pork knee? Wordless!

Paulaner also entertained us with a special Bavarian band. The performance was fun. We also taught the traditional dance. This was an amazing moment to remember. Beer competition was an ace too! Unfortunately we drank not fast enough too win. 2 seconds slower . 2 seconds for the sake of beer!

Thanks Paulaner Braühaus for the experience, the laughs, and the joy. Absolutely happy to be the part of it. And you know, you guys are allowed to be jealous! 

Sunday, August 3, 2014

The eyes

God is great. God creates us with all the complexity and never go wrong. How amazing this magic surprises called future is driven us wild.
Some people might just want to live where the wind blows, some just against the sea flow. It's all hard at some point. But it does worth it. And i'm grateful i havebeautifull eyes that can see the goods in every hard situations. That is what money can buy. Happiness is simple. My life is simple.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Eid Mubarak without mom

It's the fourth Eid Mubarak im sitting here in the same house where i grew up. Mom wasnt hear phisically but i know shes linger. Forgive me mom, i still make you sad and cry. Im trying to be better and its hard without you.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Smoking kills your noseyness

Tell me that you are right, when you interfere my privacy, it tells more about you rather than about me. No, I dont want to be a coward that ranting around on the back, however it such a waste to deliver the fact directly to the face.

Yes, I smoke and so what? I know it's dangerous and bad for health, though it doesnt change me as a person to be a bad one. Judge me, you'll get burn by your own fire game.

You may or may not like me as I am, this is how I am, and I would never change to be like what you want, cause when I change, I change to be a better me in my way.

Why is it becomes your problem when I don't even smoke infront of your face and burst the smokes to you? Is it a big matter to you if a woman smokes? Then think again if you ready to face the world with all the changes and globalization. There is a women empowerment movement where women have the rights to get equalization in life. Both in education and morally. 

Yes we live in a patriarch country. However, it's not right if men can smoke and women can't. You judge because you can't? HAHA, jealousy! I never bother your personal life so don't even think to bother mine. 

Boom! Just because you're comfort in the zone doesn't mean you always right. Don't mistake my seemed-ignorant-and-clumsy self with my intelligence and moral. My attitude to you is base on yours to me. 

I have my rules, and it lives as it is. It adapts well generically but not changed to only fit the society. I would not put my face for bargain. oh la la. Kinda emotional but just saying and no offense. *even i know its offending* 

If you have a problem with me, talk to me nicely and wisely then you may get the solution. If you are not fair and brave enough to talk to me in front of me and be wise, idgaf. xoxo