Sunday, April 29, 2012

I miss you to move on

I miss you...
It's not about the fling that I had
No more about sweetshit time we've been through
I just miss you...

We shared the laugh because we felt happy, werent we?
I dont give a fuck to the word called love anymore
It's not for us, is it?
I just miss you and I deep in the fun conversation
Aint it right?

I miss you...
It is the stage when my heart ready to let you go completely
No hate, no anger, no revenge, just no more about you...
But it has to passed the moment
The moment when i truely miss you...
Because I do...

I miss you, and I mean it.
i was love you and the love was real
I miss you, i just do...
Before suddenly we both just being strangers again
So now, take it seriously, I miss you!


Thursday, April 12, 2012

Shout out

Mom, I miss you. I need you. I need someone who trusts and believes me for whatever I do and dream. Mom... How are you today?

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

My business!

It's me with one of tees that we made

i currently excited and busy with my new business. It takes alot of time but fun. It also helps me to get into good sleep rythm. What makes me really busy? Viel & Tress clothing. It's mostly about handmade t-shirt. low price but great quality and limited edition. Curious? Check this out : like our fanpage! I'll love you to death! ehehe.

What I'm happy the most with is I can get my mind off of my galauness. You know talk about feeling is such a drama. I might abit broken heart but then I have no time to think about it. Although I once hope I could get support from someone I wish. Well, life is cruel, bitches! haha.


Thursday, April 5, 2012

A story of me

Don't wish I'd give you a pretty face doe! xxx
There are so many things happened in my life in the past few months. Either good or bad, I couldn't decide. I, somehow, believe that everything's happens in my life has a good side for my future. That isn't wrong, but not truly right. I could say my life is a jeep through amazon. Ha ha ha, abit hyperbolic, but well I might experienced that ordinary people don't even able to imagine. Dark but bright.

As a kid, I was raised by perfect small family. I have a very talented mother. I never able to stop eatiing. She was advanced in baking and cooking. No wonder, my kindergarten teachers always asked my mom to cook for them if they had school event. Although my mom was pretty busy. I was often there ment to help but ended tester everything. Ha ha ha. While my father is abit artist, I liked to be photomodel at that time, so almost everyweek I did photoshoot with my dad. He also really loved me and spoiled me. I have an older brother that very active in social. I should admit I was a heartcather child. Why so? Almost everyone will instantly in love with me when I'm around. Pretty face, smart, and lovable. Seriously, it's not a narcissm but reality. I usually got whatever I wanted. What a life!

I loved Barbie devotedly much as a little girl. From the beautiful doll, onto my daily needs such as shoes, bag, skirt, even make up kit. I have experienced many competition in modeling and MC. Who was the winner? ME! Further, my extended family also perfect. Grown up in mother-side family which is Chinese made me a little bit cocky but still adorable though. Majority of them were very rich, I was middle-up class. We went to Singapore and attended Star Cruise: Star Virgo trip and it was amazing. I have so many cousins and few cutie dogs. Of course, if remember Chinese I was always excited if Lunar New Year was coming. It's like a sign for me to got new Barbie.

Unfortunately, when I was 10 or 11 every perfect things about me is broken brutally. My parent divorced, domestic violence that my dad had done would never forgotton until I die. It wasn't only once but many times. Crazy! I moved to another smaller house with mom, down grades in life. There I was grown up to be a tough mommy girl. I forced to use pubblic transportation each day. I bought my credit phone by my own money from MC job in a TV channel. Lucky though I have talent and kind of friendly person. I could blend easily with many people.

In junior high school, I found another perfect life. I became a famous one in my school. Almost every event I was choosen as MC, and also became an ambassador for my school and went for promotion to many primary school. Not only that, I spent three whole years joined PASKIBRA SAKAKIBARA MAYAD or an extracuriculler like corps or something. A little but not small Ketty was choosen to be an assistant editor in chief school magazine, while the editor in chief is my teacher. Meant I'm the head of students journalist. Wall magazine also in my duty. And many event that I was counted as secretary or publication crew. I had a famous gang as well.  We were the queen at that time. Friendship was more than everything. I love them.

Then, I should step forward to Senior High School a super duper complete different world I should face. My school is public school or governmental school. Can you imagine? No more spoiled students. Almost all teachers are careless and If I may to be honest, incompetent. Only a few teacher that made me respect and thankful to had them. It was hard to adaptating at first, I used to be a student that got everything from school because I could protest, but not there. I was trained to be more and more way indipendent. We want to make event, we have to find the money by ourselves. Money from school already corrupted, by teacher of course.

What the best moment of it was I finally got a chance in a National Teen magazine. Started as couched short story writer, then entering freelance journalism world, and since then I officially being a freelance journalist till now. My life would be useless if I wasn't do that, to be honest. By that, I am experienced and able to explored my talent and my self. I could learn how to be stylist and to be more professional in my age. Not finish at there, a teenage Ketty also more creative than that. I made documentary film for The Body Shop Indonesia and won 3 from 4 awards. Which are : The Best Movie 2009, The Best Category "Violence Against Women", and The Best Scoring. Millions rupiah I got. I got my blackberry and many expensive stuff. It was a second stepping stone after Kawanku Magazine.

But beside those pretty things happened in my life, shit happens. You know, I was failed entering my favourite university for 3 times. That was more than nightmare. I fallen to the ground. Then I refuse to study in others Universities. Such a cocky girl I regret that now. And then I started Dutch Course at Erasmus Taalcentrum, it was a brilliant idea and i love it to the death. One day, my mom told me that she had something on her chest. Yes, terribly cancer on her breast. Horrible time. She only survived a year then passed away. That is the deepest fallen i've ever been through. I was not only fall but buried. Mom was everything in my life. She was the only one who listened and believed all my shitty dreams. And she helped me to make them come true each by each.

Now, the young adult Ketty is here. Still here. Haven't change much from before, still fragile but tough. I thank God to gave me a wonderful wonder woman as my mother, to gave me such a strong life journey, and gave me precious also priceless experiences. I want to stand on my own feet now. So that I'm tryig to do business. It's a gambling I admit, but there's no reason to be scared of and there's no wrong to try and struggle. there's a will and there's a way, i believe.

While about love life I pretty much just can tell about broken heart. Guys always broke my heart. But I enjoyed it, they gave inspiration to write poems and short story about broken hearted girl though. hahahahaha. I would say, I kind of precious person if you have me as your partner. Eventhough I am abit complicated but sophisticated. I have style, brain, and experience, also heart. ha ha ha. It's so cheesy and annoying to my self to say such a thing. lmao. Well this is life, wether I like or not i have to go through and win, right?

Remember, if you love me as anything you want, don't pity me, but give me courage and support. Or tons of money lmao. I love you all. :*

A random silly lady,

Sunday, April 1, 2012


“What if the love that you feel is real?” You have no idea why have crush on someone is fucking complicated, especially when he/she is thousand miles away and you probably have no power to kill the distance. Is it wrong to fall for someone you never met in real life? No, for me it’s totally right. But it doesn’t mean all people you’ve met through internet are ‘real’. Most of people think dating or in relationship with someone we’ve never met is a big mistake, but for me it isn’t. Eventhough not all relationships work this way, i believe the love that we feel is true. I admit it is depressing when you have a boyfriend or girlfriend but unreachable. You want to be hugged, cuddle, morning kiss, or even just holding hands, but you can’t. But can’t we think distance is only a test? If you can pass it then your love is definitely strong and pure. And it’s freaking possible. LDR can be sweet though. Such as my friend, she is dating a guy from middle east, and today is her boyfriend’s birthday. they just spent hours chat on webcam, and shared so much love, laughs, and happiness. She gave him a meaningful present, in my opinion. She drew a world’s map and put beautiful words. In relationship like this, every word just become so precious. Then it shows, relationship is not always about sex. ha ha ha. Well, if you don’t agree with this, just respect it. :)

i found this post on my tumblr. i feel to repost it. x

Twilight of heart

What is it called, my dear?
Time was going so fast
Turned everything into gold and burnt it into trash
We were share the days and laugh carelessly
Like we were a boss, we were the God

How is it happened?
Silence is exists
Nobody to blame, nothing to be complained
We were fine, we had the dream to reach
We seemed forget about the world

I have no idea how should I react to this
It burns my head and leads to tears
How do I tell my friends what breaks me now
It drives me insane and the shame on me
I'll be fine but it takes time

What was in your mind?
Was there any of me?
You made me fly then let me fall hardly
You brought me into the grey world above nowhere
Or was it only me being so naive and dumb

I actually fine and numb
It wasn't that hurt but it broke my hopes
Call me an absurd dreamer but you're a coward
Why there's no truth revealed before?