Saturday, March 8, 2014

And the distance kills...

It's not impossible but definitely takes an enormous efforts.

It's March already. Many things happened in this short time. 2014 has a lot of stories for me. So far I learnt to removing negative people from my life and just enjoy the unexpected. It's getting happier.

I feel something is not quite right yet. My heart. When it comes to feeling and love, I feel a little bit blessed also cursed. Have you ever felt that way? Lately I've been missing people that came in my life last year. People that even had hurt me but still undenialable that had given me such a good comfort time too. People that have changed in interaction between us. I have changed too, I supposed. It's making it more complicated at this time.

My love life stories not far away from distance. I mean, a real distance. My first serious relationship was torn because the distance that hard to avoid. Distance that grew the doubtness. It left me fallen too deep and hurt my self. Then another story that created drama. I believe that all the feelings were true, but we were not strong enough to defeat the emptiness while the distance took us apart.

Unbelieavably that's happening again right now. My heart is taken by someone that living thousands miles away. Different time zone, different season, different circle. Unreachable and untouchable. But I feel the strong addiction of his presence. A strong willing to just giving my attention and time for him. The moment we had was short but memorable. I have no idea wether we will ever meet again, but I wish we will. My heart is taken. Taken by him.

I try to against the imaginary hope which cover my rational. I dont say it wont work, but we havent even talk about it. I'm afraid he kills his feeling. I'm afraid its uneven. I open my heart and mind, at least I think I do so. Giving other guys chances. But seems not working well. My heart still belongs to him. What am I suppose to do?

I want to know what is he thinking about. Wonder if I ever cross his mind. If he ever wants me more than this. If he ever miss me as much as I do. I miss him. I want him. I crave for him. And the distance kills.