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Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Leaving something that I wanted and chase what I deserve

Something that feels good temporarily or toxicating at deep has no bad appearance at first. Then when you go through you feel the uncomfortable tingling that lingers stronger by the time. Let it flows and live with it, however, that would be not right. We could not just go with it but fight it and change it. Now, today I'm sure a massive change is necessary. I would twist my journey. I may not in great situation over all, though I can find a little lit of my peace. The peace within my soul which has been hidden for long.

I do hurt somebody. Or even more than a person.I wont run and bail, although, I couldnt be blamed. Do you know that sometimes we can't force the thing that has been born that way? I feel the guilt of hurting even as mean as i am, I don't really bothered. You know I've been hurt and I defeated it. No matter how hard, the best revenge is being a better one.

I am a super spoiled lady that likes to messing around. Isn't it clear that no one has to rely on me personally? I don't like to be pilot, I like to be the planner and navigator. Ah, do I chose the right analogy? I am sorry, I really am. But would you consider the reason why? I don't deserve to be harassed in the way that you saw. I don't deserve to go thousand miles that only leads me to a misery. I born from a mother that could shine so damn bright even covered in the dust. I don't need it, to be wasted in euphoria that dragged me down.

I've got to go. I've got to live my own life with no shame. Yes, i have to admit, again, I secretly ashamed with what happened between us. I deserve better. As bitch as I am, you can't mess it up, no more.

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