Tuesday, June 14, 2011

A lesson to learn : LOVE

One thing I would say this time is "I don't believe we are apart." My dreams had flew away to the future and made me believe there would be some years anniversary. Well everyone does the same. How hurts the past curlying my mind. When you gave me some strong sentences which was inspire me. Life must go on.

It didn't feel that painful, but I do lost you. You are the perfect figure, person that I want the most. Maybe that's ironic, how we love someone who hurts us, hurt someone who loves us. I just worried, why I don't have willing to find another person to replace you. Why don't I want to move on instead? I still wishing you will ask me to get back, someday.

These days going pretty fast. We just sometimes talk, but no more passion, like what we did in the past. I should admit, maybe, the past is the farthest in life. The past who always appears but not to be seen. I scared, at the end, we will decide to don't care to each other.

I consider, why I love him the most, not only because he is funny and easy going, he is clever and interesting. I am melted in whatever he is. Although I feel really offended when he was so cold to me. And unfortunately at that time I need someone to hugs me tight. Io would, really, to say "you just there for me, but you haven't figure it out yet." Or maybe that just my hope.

"Why can't we be friends?" Killer question. Yummy! Suddenly I felt few slaps on my cheeks. I was mad, sad, regret, upset, "why we should ONLY be friends when we have feeling more than that?" Or we used to have?

Reality calls...
I remember same quotes from '500 days of Summer' film. Like : "some people are meant to fall to each other but are not meant to be together." Or "people change, feeling change, it doesn't mean that the love once shared wasn't true and real. It simply just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart." DANG! It kicks my tummy. I worried I really lost you forever. Because you're the love that I am proud to have without any terms and conditions.

I maybe couldn't stop blaming my self, my character, my habbits, as the causes of my broken heart. I maybe should realise, a relationship that I'm happy and dying for is needs two ways power. I can't afford it alone. Maybe true I am a grumpie one, also the complicated maker, drama queen as well, but I have many others positive things which should be counted.

I am happy, at least we don't lose contact. I would be very sad to lose a FRIEND that really precious in my life, my history. I am living for tomorrow. I absolutely can to move on, but I do not want to do it yet. Yes, honestly, I still LOVE you a lot. And pretending to dont have it again is a lie, and I don't want to be abussive to my own self. The most unique and precious one, me!

For a memories... Dear, I never ever could forget you. Why? Because it was my lessons to be a better me. Apart from we can be together again or not, I won't regret, I've got something to feeding my brain. Have I told u? Memories, you are the most wonderful I ever have.

Haha, I still praying for him and his family like before, I still curious with whatever he likes, I still care to his family. Sincere... I still do.

Yeah, I wishing you and me, fight our drawbacks together, don't give up, like u told me before. HAHAHA. Sorry I just make it getting worse.

Now, this is me. A single lady. Broken heart but not broken brain. Have a great day!

I love my mom!♥

Ketty Tressianah

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